Light One Candle

Peter Yarrow’s death has us saying goodbye, but his legacy is complicated. We’ve been engaged in the conversation regarding him and his song, Light One Candle, which is the Hanukkah song embraced by many Jews as a profoundly emotional iconic expression of our tradition. At about the same time that Yarrow entered hospice, many learned that he was accused of sexual misconduct. This reignited a debate about how we might separate the artist from his creation. Can his extraordinary music and activism be decoupled from his egregious behavior, or must we sacrifice his beautiful music because of his actions?

We’ve had this difficult conversation before, and many people have weighed the pros and cons of Yarrow, Carlebach, and others who have disappointed us as human beings yet created extraordinary artistic works.

I do not have an answer to the question. Do we stop singing Yarrow’s music? It’s more than just the songs he’s written, but also the songs he’s performed, most notably as part of the famous trio Peter, Paul, and Mary. It’s a thorny question that must be addressed, but I don’t think a blanket statement suffices; that is the easy way out. Instead, each of us needs to take responsibility for considering whether or not we are comfortable and where we may draw lines that we are unwilling to cross. Perhaps it’s with some footnote when we sing a song, or maybe it’s part of a community decision about whether the music is acceptable. But the conversation needs to occur. We must confront the ugliness and beauty and figure out how to weave them in a way that might work for us and the people we serve.

So, I’m not prepared to cancel him, but I must talk about him entirely. I am unwilling to discard all of the music he brought into our lives, yet that music cannot be heard without the more discomforting voice of his actions and the ethical dilemmas they present.

It’s messy and complicated, but we must consider, deliberate, and decide for ourselves and our respective communities how best to proceed.

THE TRAGEDY OF THE HOSTAGES

One of the horrors of the current war is the holding of the hostages.  Their predicament is hopeless because their freedom depends on some level of trust, and there is no trust.

Israel and Hamas are avowed enemies.  Each is dedicated to the destruction of the other.  There is no middle ground, no reconciliation, no peace.  With this at each core, trust cannot exist.

Hamas has fully embraced the “civilian as a weapon” idea.  To give up the hostages means giving up one of its most potent weapons.  The hostages have been used as shields, and many believed as a bargaining chip.  But without trust, there is no incentive to use this bargaining chip, and once it is used, nothing is left. Hamas does not trust that Israel will live by an agreement; they believe Israel sees an agreement as only the means to obtaining the release of the hostages, nothing more.  Once the hostages are returned, Israel will continue to prosecute the war.

Israel has displayed its commitment to destroying Hamas.  As Hamas cannot be appeased, it must be eliminated.  Israel has a long memory and believes in retribution.  It does not trust Hamas.  Israel thought it could permit Hamas to exist as it did not pose an existential threat and accepted a tenuous ceasefire. Then, October 7 happened, and whatever trust existed was shattered.

A ceasefire is a lull until it ends, and the warring begins again. This is part of the cynical lack of trust, but it is one of the few things both sides can agree upon.

War is usually fought to capitulation.  One side is defeated unequivocally.  The victor then dictates the terms of surrender and peace over the vanquished.  This may not be possible. But until these two warring parties have more to gain by ceasing hostilities and learning to co-exist, the death and destruction will continue.

I pray that the current negotiations might prove me wrong and that the hostages will be returned. And perhaps peace might be seen as an alternative to hatred and carnage.

 

 

 

A light of Hope has Gone Out

credit: LBJ Library

We should pause and reflect on Jimmy Carter and the gift that was his life.

President Jimmy Carter engineered the peace between Israel and Egypt, and we are indebted to him, if only for that.

He was an exemplar of morality, committed to peace and human rights, and striving to improve the world.

During the High Holidays, we reflect on the balance between Din and Rachamim, the strictness of law and compassion. Many have thought Carter was too compassionate and not strong enough. Nowadays, the world seems to be seeking “strongmen” as leaders. We lose something when our leaders cannot access humanity and compassion.

As President and throughout his life, Carter was a remarkable human being,  a consequential force for positive change in our world.

May his name be for a blessing.

Don’t Squander the Gifts

The New Year is upon us.  I pause and look back to look ahead.

I’ve realized that sometimes I squander my gifts. I am blessed with a lot for which I should be, and I am thankful. I live a blessed life with a loving partner, family, friends, inspiring and rewarding work, and Rashi, the Portuguese Wonder (water) Dog.

But when things are good, we tend to take them for granted. When we don’t appreciate them thoroughly, we risk losing them. We all must continue nurturing them so they do not slip away from neglect.

It is too easy to forget that. We can all be neglectful, expecting the good things always to be there.

So, let’s not squander our gifts. Take a moment to reflect on what is truly meaningful in your life. Commit to celebrating and nurturing our core values and relationships. And make sure to let those special people in your lives know it.  Please do not take any of it for granted.

I enter the year hoping to focus on the truly important things, the people, and the values I hold dear.  I hope you do that, too, as we enter 2025.

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy New Year!

 

 

 

 

Chag Urim Sameach! Happy Chanukah

How do you light the Chanukah Menorah?

As you can imagine, this was a discussion among the Rabbis.  The Talmud famously pits the House of Shammai against the House of Hillel, our preeminent first pair of rabbis.

Do you light one candle the first night and increase another candle every night until all are lit on the eighth day?

Or do you light all the candles on the First day and decrease the number until you reach one candle?

Most of us know Hillel won that argument, so we increase the light with every passing day.

Do you use Applesauce or Sour Cream when you eat latkes?  They never decided on this argument, so we do both! (actually, I am pretty sure they never engaged in this discussion- I am making it up)

Do you light one Menorah for the family, or does everyone get to light their own?

 

Did you know the Menorah we use for Chanukah is called a Chanukiah?  (it is an eight-light, plus Shamash, candelabra as distinguished from the seven-armed menorah used in the Temple).

Do you put the menorah in your front window for the community to view?

Why do I always seem to lack the right number of candles?

And when I buy candles on sale after Chanukah, I can’t remember where I put them for the next year.

Last but not least, is it Chanukah, Hannukah, or Channukah, Hanukah, Hanukkah, etc.?

We can get all caught up in both the fun and serious questions as we determine how we want to celebrate our holiday.  But remember it is about celebrating the holiday.

It is a time of celebration and rededication. We remember the story of Jewish victory, which instilled pride in our heritage and gave us strength and confidence as we face seemingly enormous challenges today. We spend time with our family, sharing the light’s glow, the pleasure of the food, and the fun of the games. May your Chanukah be wonderous!

Chag Urim Sameach, Happy Hanukah!